Possible causes
- Chronic stress and fatigue – persistently raised cortisol shifts the body into survival mode and desire takes a back seat.
- Too little sleep – even a few weeks of short sleep can lower testosterone in both men and women.
- Hormonal changes – low testosterone, high prolactin, shifts in estrogen after childbirth, while breastfeeding or in perimenopause.
- Medication – some antidepressants, hormonal contraception or blood pressure drugs can dampen libido.
- Thyroid and iron – an underactive thyroid or low ferritin often bring fatigue and lower desire.
- Routine and mental load – worries, children, work and little time as a couple show up even in a good relationship.
What to check
- Hormones – testosterone (including free) and SHBG; for women estradiol and progesterone according to cycle phase; prolactin.
- Thyroid – TSH, possibly fT4, if you also feel tired or cold.
- Ferritin and vitamin D – deficiency often shows as low energy and less interest in intimacy.
- Sleep and stress – track how long you sleep and how you feel in the morning – a cheap and telling indicator.
What helps
- Sleep first – 7–9 hours at a regular time is the foundation of hormonal balance.
- Strength training – two to three sessions a week support hormones, confidence and body awareness.
- Managing stress – short breathing exercises, walks in daylight and clear limits on working hours.
- Time for the relationship – planned time together without phones and an open conversation about needs.
- Nutrition – enough protein, healthy fats and zinc; less alcohol, which dampens both desire and performance.
When to see a doctor
See a doctor if the drop in libido came suddenly, lasts longer than a few months, comes with marked fatigue, low mood, nipple discharge or cycle problems, or is linked to starting a new medication. Do not stop medication without talking to your doctor.